Lindsey Dillingham

So I was originally going to get married at Willard, but have changed my mind.  I went with my mom to book Willard and found out that I have to e-mail my request to move the furniture, you can not do it in person.  They denied my request even if there was bad weather.  Since Oklahoma weather is something that you can not depend on I have decided to get married in a church in my hometown.  My mom is thrilled with this decision.  I am surprisingly not that sad about the change.  I think I am just really ready to get married and I don’t care a ton about the details.

It is that time of year, wedding season! Time for tons of weddings and bridal showers. I was at a bridal shower last week and a girl said she had nine weddings to go to this summer. That is crazy! Weddings can be expensive for the bride and her family and for guests. Friends and family members are invited to all the showers and the wedding. Are people expected to buy a gift for every shower they are invited to? I was invited to two showers for one of my friends. I bought gifts for both of them. I was looking online at The Knot and they had an etiquette question about this very subject. The advice columnist, Carley said that you are not required to bring a gift to all of the showers. The bride probably does not expect her guests to spend a fortune on her and her future husband. If you want to buy a present for all the showers, then pick a budget and then divide the budget among all the showers. Try to buy nice things that aren’t as costly, so that way you can have a gift at every shower or go in with people for a bigger registry item.

Most wedding showers have a theme.  Showers can be co-ed or just the girls.  I was recently invited to a shower that is an Around the Clock shower.  Every guest receives a time of day and they have to buy a gift that goes with that time of day.  For example, I got the time 8 a.m. and I bought the couple a coffee maker.  If the couple is outdoorsy, they might have an outdoors themed shower, where they would receive gifts such as a tent, sleeping bags, etc.  Another idea is a personal shower, where the bride-to-be receives lingerie.  This type of shower is very common.  A garden shower is also becoming very popular.  At this shower the couple receives gardening tips, flowers, and all the necessary gardening tools.  An afternoon tea party shower is also becoming popular.  Guests are treated to a tea party and can bring gifts to coordinate with the theme, such as tea cups or tea pots.  Wedding showers do not have to have themes, but themes can make showers more fun. 

Monogramming everything is a new trend for weddings.  Everything from cake toppers to linens are being monogrammed with the couple’s initials.  In the past towels have always been monogrammed, but lately everything is being monogrammed.  Many bridesmaid’s gifts and groomsmen’s gifts are also being monogrammed.  From tote bags to bracelets to money clips.  Monogramming personalizes the wedding and gifts. 

Wedding favors can range from elaborate to simple.  Wedding favors are not a must, but many weddings include them.  They can range from specialized CD’s to decorated cookies.  I went to a wedding last summer that had votive candles with their names and their wedding date on it.  For my outdoor wedding I am thinking of having fans for each guest.  One elaborate favor idea I have heard of people making charitable donations in their guests’ names.  Other ideas are plants or water bottles with monogrammed labels.  Wedding favors can sometimes be waste of money.  Do people really want a candle with someone’s wedding date on it?  When choosing wedding favors one should think about their wedding theme and whether it is practical for guests. 

My best friend who was recently engaged after a fast courtship is devastated after her fiance ended the relationship and engagement. Some blame it on a fast courtship-they didn’t have enough time to get to know each other. Others blame it on them being too young. No one but them will ever know the real reason why it ended, because relationships are too complex for anyone else to really understand. When one is getting married they must not have too high of expectations. When one has high expectations of what married life will be like, they are almost always disappointed. Disappointments can lead to divorce. If one goes into a marriage with low expectations or reasonable expectations it makes for a much easier marriage. Last semester I took an upper division Sociology class on American relationships, families, and marriage. It was a very interesting class that gave a realistic approach to relationships. Divorce is very common in Oklahoma. This class gives you all of the facts about why relationships fail. I am entering into marriage with very low expectations of what married life will be like. I know that marriage is not going to be an easy thing. I know that love alone can not keep a marriage together–it takes time and commitment to one another. I have been with my fiance for six years and I hope I will be with him forever.

Save-the-dates are a new trend for weddings and more and more couples are using them. Save-the-dates are very self explanatory. They should go out five months before the wedding and just say the date and place on them. They can be in the form of magnets, stickers, postcards, or just on card stock paper. Save-the-dates are a chance to be very creative. Almost all invitation companies make save-the-dates or you can make them yourself. Save-the-dates are important if you are having a destination wedding or your wedding date is on a busy holiday weekend. If you are having a destination wedding, you should send out your save-the-dates up to one year in advance. This is to allow guests time to take off of work and save money for the trip.

Keep the information on the card simple: Include your name and the groom’s, your wedding date, where the celebration will be taking place, and your wedding Web site, if you’ve got one. I helped my best friend make save-the-dates for her wedding. We bought light turquoise card stock paper and brown ribbon. Her mom wanted us to use dried flowers, but we used a fun mad-hatter like cake graphic. Our font was very fun and was brown. It turned out super cute!!! Here is how we did it:
1. Type your information, centering each line. Use a fun or fancy font. Leave space at top for a dried flower or graphic.

2. Print on notecard-size paper. Have extra paper for test runs.

3. With a paintbrush, apply a thin layer of watered-down glue such as Elmer’s to the top of the card and attach a dried, pressed flower. Or instead of the flower, paint a simple shape like a swirl or heart at the top of the card using slightly watered-down craft glue and a watercolor brush. Or you could just find a cute graphic to include at the top, such as a wedding cake.
Another idea would be to attach translucent paper (aka vellum) to the card by punching a hole in both the card and vellum using a hole-puncher and then tie with ribbon or twine.

I am trying to cut costs anywhere I can. When I went bridesmaids dress shopping, I of course, picked out an expensive dress. The dresses were expensive because they are made out of an expensive silk fabric. I decided that maybe it would be cheaper to buy the fabric and have someone make the dresses. I found a lady, Valerie Silvers, in Stillwater that makes wedding gowns and bridesmaids dresses. She orders her own fabric. I went and met with her to see if she could get the fabric that I wanted and in the color that I liked. She had the perfect fabric and said that she could make them for almost half the price of the other dresses. I saw some sample dresses that she had made and they are amazing. Her Web site is www.seworiginalcouture.com. There are always ways to cut costs, you just have to be looking for them. Another way that I am cutting costs is ordering invitations online and printing them myself. These invitations are not my wedding invitations, but my best friend’s wedding shower invitations. I found the cutest invitations online at www.invitingco.com. But, to have the company print them it was an extra $26, so I decided to just print them from my own computer and they turned out great!