Lindsey Dillingham

My best friend who was recently engaged after a fast courtship is devastated after her fiance ended the relationship and engagement. Some blame it on a fast courtship-they didn’t have enough time to get to know each other. Others blame it on them being too young. No one but them will ever know the real reason why it ended, because relationships are too complex for anyone else to really understand. When one is getting married they must not have too high of expectations. When one has high expectations of what married life will be like, they are almost always disappointed. Disappointments can lead to divorce. If one goes into a marriage with low expectations or reasonable expectations it makes for a much easier marriage. Last semester I took an upper division Sociology class on American relationships, families, and marriage. It was a very interesting class that gave a realistic approach to relationships. Divorce is very common in Oklahoma. This class gives you all of the facts about why relationships fail. I am entering into marriage with very low expectations of what married life will be like. I know that marriage is not going to be an easy thing. I know that love alone can not keep a marriage together–it takes time and commitment to one another. I have been with my fiance for six years and I hope I will be with him forever.

I have been told one of the hardest things about marriage is combining two different lives into one. My fiancee is applying to medical school. He is deciding which schools he wants to apply to. I am realizing that I will have to get a job wherever he gets into school. I know that he would love to stay in Oklahoma, as would I. Even in Oklahoma, there are two different schools. One located in Tulsa and the other in Oklahoma City. It is very scary to think about finding a job, but then knowing that I will be in a certain city and not have a choice of anywhere I want to go. Maybe this sounds like I am not ready for marriage because I don’t want to give up some of my dreams, but really I am. I am just scared about finding a job in the same city as him. I would love to work for an NBA team and from the looks of things, Oklahoma might have one whether the N.O./Oklahoma City Hornets stay or not. If Ty gets a job in Tulsa then that wouldn’t work. I am afraid that the opportunities will be there but I won’t be living in the right place. I would rather be married and living with him than to have a job I really wanted. Besides my true dream job is to own a dress shop one day. Once Ty is out of medical school I might try that, but until then I will continue to worry and pray that everything will work out.