January

Boone Pickens Stadium

Location: Stillwater, OK

Built: Still under construction. Don’t expect that to change as long as oil money flows like wine.

Cost: The future of Oklahoma’s undergrads.

Boone Pickens Stadium stands as a testament to the only two things Oklahoma seems to care about: oil and football. As the new home of Oklahoma State’s Cowboys, it gives them a whole new background to lose in.

Construction began in late 2003, but if you were planning on crossing Stillwater on Hall of Fame Avenue anytime soon, forget it. Completion dates have been set for some time around when pigs fly and Hell freezes over, depending on how many rich oil barons pony up their dough.

The stadium is expected to be surrounded by a new controversial athletic village, which will pay homage to the lesser sports like baseball and tennis. Stillwater senior citizens are encouraged to be on the lookout for athletic expansion as new construction is likely to demolish their homes and put them in a nursing home or in the clutches of their ungrateful children. It’s not like rich alumni are paying for the university to buy their houses for a decent price. Come on!

It is unknown at this point if university officials have decided to build an actual university to complement the newly funded athletic department.

February

Price Tower Arts Center

Location: Bartlesville, OK

Built: 1958

Cost: $1.25 Million

What do New York City, Tokyo, and Bartlesville have in common? They all have buildings designed by architectural legend Frank Lloyd Wright.

But unlike New York’s Guggenheim Museum and Tokyo’s Imperial Hotel, Bartlesville’s Price Tower Arts Center is a complete mystery as to why it is located in a city in the middle of nowhere.

Also known as the Prairie Skyscraper, the Price Tower’s 221 feet rise over the plains of Oklahoma; a living testament to Frank Lloyd Wright’s apparent lack of geographic knowledge. Silly Frank, cool things are for coasts.

The tower’s placement is not really a mystery. Like everything else in this state, it was connected to oil money. The H.C. Price Company commissioned the tower in the early 1950s as an office tower for the company.

Today, it contains the Price Tower Arts Center, a museum dedicated to the works of Frank Lloyd Wright and other architects, as well as a hotel and a restaurant. Lively jazz concerts are held frequently in the Copper Bar and Restaurant, and major architectural exhibits work their way into the Price Tower’s oddly shaped galleries, proving that this building truly is a wonder, not only because of its unique design, but because of its bewildering placement in the cultural black hole that is Oklahoma.

March

Oklahoma State Capitol Dome

Location: Oklahoma City

Built: November 2002

Cost: $21 Million

The Oklahoma state capitol dome was dedicated amidst a backdrop of fireworks and country music stars. The $21 million project began in 2000 and two years later, was finished.

People were really enthusiastic about this dome, for some reason. The dome would add our state to the long list of states that already had domes on their capitols.

When the dome was being constructed, a lot of people would say “Why are we building this? We were the only state capitol without a dome. We were unique.”

This is only partly true. In fact, I was the only one saying this.

According to the state capitol dome website (yes, it has a website), it was actually one of eleven state capitols without domes. The more accurate statement was that it was the only state capitol that was supposed to have a dome that didn’t.

Yes, the Oklahoma capitol was supposed to have a dome when it was designed, but because of lack of funds, they did not complete it. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t unique.

So, the Capitol Domers raised the money to build the dome and it was succesfully financed. No harm no foul right? Well, only 75 percent was covered by private donations.

Did I mention it was a $21 million dollar project? Do you have $21 million dollars sitting around?

Actually, maybe you do. I would suspect you helped pay for it. 25 percent of $21 million is $5.25 million. God forbid that money go to something important, like cock-fighting, football, Jesus or something else Oklahomans hold dear.

April

The Toy and Action Figure Museum

Location: Pauls Valley, OK

Built: 2005

If you think nothing in Oklahoma deserves national media attention, you’d be right.  But there’s still the Toy and Action Figure Museum in Pauls Valley.

The Toy and Action Figure Museum opened in 2005 as part of Pauls Valley’s revitalization program Vision 2010.  It was an attempt to put the little Oklahoma town on the international map.

Have they done it?

Well, according to the owner Kevin Stark, the museum has welcomed guests from all over the United States and the world.  The placement in Pauls Valley was justified because Pauls Valley is apparently equidistant from both New York City and Los Angeles.

The goal of the museum is to honor “the designers, sculptors, and toy companies that have turned action figures from a child’s plaything to a work of art.”

The museum also features the Oklahoma Cartoonist Collection which contains the “works of published artists and writers in the comics field from Oklahoma.”

Admission is $6 for adults and children over 2, $4 for senior citizens and free for children under 2.

Come on to Main Street Pauls Valley and experience the Toy and Action Figure Museum for yourself.  You may even meet the elusive Captain Planet.

Does anyone but me remember that show?