President Bush: our new king
Hands down, President Bush is the greatest president in the history of the United States. Immediately, critics argue he is the worst. Where is their foresight? The problem remains they have yet to read the history books of tomorrow, which state George W. Bush is the new forefather of this nation’s new american century. Published this summer on facebook.com were my recommendations for Bush to follow through on by the end of the year. Let’s see how he did.
Recommendations for Bush
Third, eliminate all taxes on the top one percent of all households in the country. According to Reaganomics 101, this increase in wealth for the rich will “trickle down” to the bottom 99.9 percent - similar percent to the germs anti-bacterial soap kills on your hands.
Yet to be done.
Fourth, declare evolution to be “just a theory” and Intelligent Design “a legitimate science” based on your beliefs. Atheists will no longer use their facts to discredit your interpretation of the Christian Bible. Also, use your “faith based initiative” program for Christian and Jewish private schools only. If necessary, divide them up by race as well.
When President Bush implemented the No Child Left Behind Act, he’s referring to Tim LeHeigh’s popular apocolyptic Christian book series, “Left Behind,” which describes the end according to the apostle John’s “Revelation” in the New Testament. Both are quite interesting reads.
Fifth, take funding from public schools through the No Child Left Behind Act to be used for military recruiting. We’ll need all the troops we can once we invade Iran.
I forgot when I wrote this it’s already been done. As for Iran, it depends what way the wind blows. We could be getting a draft, which is not the first time.
Sixth, continue pushing for social security “reform.” Eventually, Americans will forget the point of social security and accept whatever program you give them, even if that program mandates Wall Street as their only outlet for a retirement pension.
I’m almost conviced social security is bankrupt, but our leaders wait for the day they turn around and say, “Oops, we lost it.” Blaming it the stock market is a good excuse.
Seventh, declare the First Amendment “null and void” if it jeopardizes national security, particularly journalists that “leak” classified information in their news stories. I advise jail time for any one who violates this policy. But be careful, especially if someone in your administration is the one leaking the classified information (i.e. Vice President Dick Cheney).
This recommendation based on a summer Supreme Court ruling that states the First Amendment does not protect an employer’s job when he or she leaks classified information, also known as a “whistle blower.”
Lastly, mandate all U.S. citizens pray for you, similarly to the way you require soldiers fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan to do. This is the best way U.S. citizens can fully assist in winning the war, which your administration predicts will endure for decades. When people question these not-so-drastic changes, threaten them will detainment in a secret prison or have them executed on grounds of treason.
Who knows if this will be implemented. I pray to Bush he does so. It would help him get the job done.
(original editor’s note: Brent Battle studied constitutional law under Karl Rove at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba)
