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As I read Nancy Gibbs’ article “Making time for baby,” I experienced surprise that science could not help the grief-stricken women who waited too long to have children and anger that they were “tricked” into believing in their fertility until menopause. Despite headlines about births to women over 40, the reality is much less promising. “There’s no promising therapy for age-related infertility,” said Dr. Michael Soules in Gibbs’ article. Unfortunately, many women believe they can get pregnant into their 40s. For many, this isn’t true.

Both Jennifer Egan’s article “Wanted: A Few Good Sperm” and Gibbs’ article impress a feeling of betrayal of women in general. It seems that most of the stories of women more than 40 giving birth to healthy babies forgot to mention the very small numbers in which this occurs or the major treatment and expense of such births. However, all of the articles relate a common theme: Women must plan their lives. They can choose to put their careers first and risk neglecting their children, put their children first and neglect their careers or try to balance them and go crazy. However, women have a fourth option: not to make a choice at all and end up barren thanks to their mature ages.

I agree with Sylvia Ann Hewlett that men don’t face the same cruel choices as women. Although my own plans for children and a career have been at the forefront of my thoughts recently, I know that my boyfriend has never once considered how he will balance work and family. While I spend brain power considering things like the best time to get married, the best time to have children, how much time away from work is necessary to have a child, how having a child will affect my career, the pros and cons of day care vs. baby sitters or a nanny, whether we will live near my parents or my husband’s parents, etc., the only things he considers are financial in nature – can he support a wife and can he support a child. He never feels that everything he has worked for will be threatened by his desire to be a father.

By Jami Fichte